The woes of a college student

ALL I CAN SAY FOR NOW IS THAT.


I MUST NOT GIVE UP.


bv math lt. bawi :)

Reaping what you sow.

College is hard. It's a given. It might as well be a fact. I always thought of this for a while, but I never really got to absorb it fully. Not until now when I'm actually in the situation and is experiencing everything first hand.

Maybe I'm just unfortunate, unlucky or maybe... I'm just not trying hard enough. I'm not bringing my best efforts to the table. Maybe I'm just complicating things for myself. I'm being paranoid or I'm expecting too much for myself. Maybe this is just a rough start, an adjustment period? A rough run? A trial? A testing? 

Nevertheless. I don't know. I feel like I'm in a quicksand, trying to pull myself up, saving myself from drowning in this nonsense. I really really really don't want to be a pessimistic ranter forever, even though I know I can't help it. Still, optimism, to you I won't cease trying. 

I hate wallowing and forever gluing myself into a situation that well, I shouldn't problem in the first place. But sometimes, I just can't help it. Lately, my grades aren't what I'm exactly hoping for. Sometimes I think my grades should give justice as to how hard I studied or as to how much efforts I exerted into it. Aren't these two supposed to be directly proportional to each other? 

OOOR. Maybe, the real question here is, the quality of efforts I put in, or quality of studying I have. Do I just study for the sake of acing the test and getting everything done? 

yes, fine I AM. But I think now that I realized it, I think I need a shift in perspective. Really. I know most of the reasons in studying is for mainly reaching the passing mark, passing the course. But in contrast, I think it would be better if one perceive it in such a way that it doesn't look forced. If you get what  I mean. I can't really explain, but looking at it as some motivation  to make one better, not only academically, but something holistic in nature. I don't want to graduate one sided. I want to achieve much more than that. I want to show the world that I still have something worthy to be emulated. 

Since I'm having a change in perspective, I think no. not think. I will now have a change in action. No more procrastination ( I will try my hardest), No more distractions, No more idling, just intense focus on studying. I will get my priorities straight. This time, I don't want to be the seeker anymore, I want to be the doer. I've sought the things I need to do? I need to accomplish? And now to finish all that off, I'm going to need some action. I won't anymore be stuck in my old chapter (high school). This is it right here. College as we know it. Carpe diem! Seize the day. I'm stepping my game up! :) Starting, right, now. AHHHHHH. :)

Also! I vow to really commit to my daily quiet time now. Sorry God,:( yes even though I've been attending d groups and trying to pray now and then, it still isn't quite enough. I'm always in a rush. I owe you big. Because lately without your guidance, I know I'm slowly going astray. 

so. let's. do. this. thing. 
haha!