HELLO

haven't been blogging.


switched to tumblr. But then I figured, this is the only blog that is pretty much more "private" for me. So I'M BACK.


Just got back from the ALL IN camp from our church, and let me just say, IT WAS AWESOME!:) I'm happy that I got baptized:)


Yesterday, I had a fight with my dad. I was crying my heart out. And who can I run to? No one. Except God. I texted my best friends yesterday, but i only felt neglected. Only one replied, and when I texted back, she didn't anymore.


but as our pastor in our church says. LOVE BELIEVES THE BEST. So that's what I'm believing right now, that's why I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the message was not sent? maybe they did not receive it, maybe they have no load. I don't know. :( I just miss my sisters.


Back to the fight. I realized so many things. It's so sad that things are just revolving around one thing--money. MONEY MONEY MONEY. It's true though that at some point money can control people. But money can't give one little bit of true happiness to anybody. I'm disappointed that this is the kind of world we live in. But what I'm even more disappointed at is the fact that a person in my family is like that, my dad. And even though I'm thankful that he changed compared to his even worse attitudes before, I can't help but feel really awful when he acts like his old self before.


Sometimes I feel so alone. so small. so finite.
like one big giant speckle of nothing.


What is happening to the world? :(


Thank God for hope. And most of all thank God for love.
Amidst everything that is happening right now, I'm happy that God somehow reveals himself to me through people. I read a text message sent to me yesterday. That God is not finished with my daddy yet. And I really hope he isn't. I know my dad still has so much to offer to the world, it's just that he is just blinded by the norm of the world. I still pray for Him.


I also pray for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll know the decision of my course. :( in admu. If i do get the slot or not. Where am I really going God? Where are you planting me? Because I'm honestly scared, scared in terms of where my path really is headed. Do i go for what i want or what they want?